BiteBack Publishing

So, I’ve yet to receive figures concerning the Labour and Lib Dem Party Conferences but according to Blackwells – official booksellers to the Tory Party Conference – the bestsellers list looked like this:

1. Biteback WINS
2. Biteback comes SECOND
3. More Biteback
4. Biteback again
5. Not Biteback
6. Biteback strikes back – not unlike these kittens.

That’s the important list. Now here is other one, by title. Which were the top 6 bestselling books at the Conservative Party Conference?

1. The Future of Conservatism
2. Master’s of Nothing
3. After the Coalition
4. Tory Pride and Prejudice
5. A book by some slugger called Jeremy Paxman, published by some rogue publisher called Penguin.
6. Bigger Book of Boris

So really, when you think about it, when Peter Oborne said we were fast becoming ‘Britain’s premier political publisher’, he wasn’t wrong.

Try telling that to Paxo. Paxo, the stuffing brand, on their website say they ‘knock the stuffing out of the competition’. Paxo, the one-man-man-brand would probably say the same. When he passed the Biteback and Total Politics stand Grant didn’t take a second moment to thrust a copy of the magazine into his hands, questioning: “are you a fan of Total Politics, Jeremy?”

Job done. Jeremy Paxman was embroiled in conversation with us and we were determined not to let him go.

“Jeremy.” I said. “Why don’t you publish your books with us? You should!”
“Because I want to get them in the bloody shops!”

With hindsight, and had I known just how well Biteback had stormed Conference, I’d have come up with some witty limerick about how he was fifth. That’s right FIFTH, behind a load of Biteback books that we’d managed to get into the shops…

As it was we began a separate conversation in which I used the word ‘literally’, literally in the wrong context. He pulled me up on it. I accused him of being the ‘word police’ (not my finest comeback, but Conference had fed on at least 72%* of my soul by this point. *I can’t prove this).

Later, feeling a little deflated, much the way Luke did in The Empire Strikes Back, I returned to Jeremy Paxman with my cohort, Grant Tucker, at the Blackwells stand where he was signing copies of his book, aptly titled Empire. Grant handed him a copy of his book: “Can you sign this to Grant and Katy, please?” Paxo looked at us jadedly: “oh God, not you two again. What message do you want me to write?” To which I responded: “what about ‘Dear Grant and Katy, You are literally the best thing since sliced bread. Love, Jeremy Paxman’?”

And so it was.

What followed was some cutting banter knocked back and forth with light saber wit and grit, Grant and I on one side of the table, Paxo on the other. It took two of us to hold him off, but ultimately we succeeded as he emitted a deep sigh and an utterly exhausted Paxman-style frown: “who do you two think you are, Morecambe and Wise?”

ZOOM.

Opponent defeated. We were sufficiently annoying.

If you’d like to get your hands on the bestselling books of the Conference season, you’ve come to the right place – if only Jeremy Paxman had done the same.