Trust. It’s a funny thing. ‘Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none’, said Shakespeare. How do you choose who to trust? Do you go with your gut instinct? Your head or your heart? Do you choose quantity over quality? If you pick the last option, you may be thinking that 2012 could be neatly filed under ‘EXCELLENT’ based on the sheer quantity of people who thought it was a stonker. The summer’s events had us all whacking out the bunting and scoffing Eton Mess like there was no tomorrow. But let me tell you. Those people are wrong.
The Olympics? So over. The Diamond Jubilee? Whatever. Boris on a zipwire? Meh.
Thought 2012 was all about Being British, incredible sporting victories, plebs, a renewed sense of national identity or even the end of the world? Then you are wrong. So wrong.
For 2012 was actually the year of the Heucheras, the all-American flowers commonly known as Coral Bells. It’s official. At least according to The National Garden Bureau. And they have just announced 2013 as the year of the watermelon. Here at Biteback, we’d be more likely to tell you that 2012 was the year of the watermelon, given that we published TWO editions of James Delingpole’s Watermelons: How Environmentalists are Killing the Planet, Destroying the Economy and Stealing Your Children’s Future (the updated edition of which is currently available for £4.99, cough cough) but each to their own, for that is the way of democracy, and, consequentially, my point. Sure, the Olympics and all things British may have been the biggest stories of 2012 for most of us, but let us not forget some of the other fantastic stories which our year would have been less brilliant without. Gérard Depardieu weeing on a plane. This yob, who made rude gestures to a CCTV camera, only to then walk into a lamppost. A hamburger having an adventure in space.
So, when it comes to trust, let us come to a middle ground. Yes, 2012 was the year of national pride, red, white and blue, Boris making announcements on the tube and Nick Clegg being sorry, but trust us when we say that there’s lots to be said about 2012; if Heucheras were the highlight of the year for some, then so be it. And here’s to 2013; the year of the watermelon. Apparently there’s also some baby being born later on in the year, but you’ll have to ask someone else about that.