Yesterday, Sam-Sam-Senior-Editor-man had a "bad spelling day". These are few and far between but when they do arise our whole world is thrown out of kilter.
Imagine for example you worked in a Michelin Star restaurant - yes, we think that highly of ourselves - and your head chef suddenly announced they'd forgotten how to cook. How would you respond? It would be PANDEMONIUM.
Fortunately, in a publishing house there's no such thing as pandemonium - it's not that we don't care enough, it's more that publishers aren't really the sort.
Pandemoniacs can be found in Michelin Star restaurants, for sure, but here at Biteback Towers you're more likely to find a nice bespectacled* bibliophile peering over their lenses at a problem, pondering it quietly (not necessarily doing anything about it, but the feigned concern is there).
*I can confirm that none of us wears glasses,** not one, but you get the point.
**I wear sunglasses, but only because they make me look super cool, not for any ophthalmic purposes.
Anyway, what all this means is that yesterday, if your book was being edited in this office you should be afraid. For at one particularly low point the most senior editor in the room asked how to spell 'peculiar'. Apt. In his defence, Sam did announce it was a bad spelling day, so we weren't at a complete loss, it just meant that his editing disciples had to take the mantle of 'Katy's spell-checker'.
I suppose the problem is that once I know you're unreliable it takes a while for you to regain my trust, and I might even write a borderline humiliating blog post about you... This is an upward struggle for you Sam-Sam. In the meantime I will continue to annoy the new boy, Lewis, with my incessant questions.
This is Lewis.
It's only thanks to him that I knew 'opticinal' isn't a word. Well done Lewis - you can stay.
UPDATE:
Nam-Nam-Designer-Man does in fact wear glasses. It appears my observational skills are lacking. But I don't need glasses, there's a huge Mac computer blocking my view of his face.
UPDATE 2:
Apparently Emma, our Publicity Manager, wears contacts.
UPDATE 3:
Lewis wears glasses for driving but he doesn't want me to tell you because he doesn't like wearing them. I am telling you for the comedy value of detailing how little I know about my colleagues, I have little concern for the fact that Lewis doesn't want this to be made public knowledge.