Paul Moocraft, author of Shooting the Messenger and Inside the Danger Zones quite enjoys TV punditry. As long as he takes his make-up off afterwards, and remembers that taxi drivers earn way more than him...
‘You’re only as good as your last interview’ is a common expression in the world of TV punditry – always a useful bit of publicity for authors, especially if you can get a word in about your latest epic. I do a lot for the Beeb on radio, and occasional stuff for BBC TV, Al Jazeera and, now and again, Sky.
More important than the quality – that is, usually, how controversial you are – is the special relationship with the booker, or ‘interviews producer’, to be politically correct. They have favourites, but they tend to move a lot. So you might be doing a great series of interviews, then the phone doesn’t ring. The booker, and their valuable collection of contacts, has moved on.
I used to get calls from Al Jazeera on Friday evenings or Sunday lunchtimes – not only difficult to cancel social arrangements, but also to get up to central London. I live deep in rural Surrey, don’t drive, and usually Al Jazeera gives you very short notice (their head office in Doha often has no idea of UK geography, or traffic.) I used to think that I was called on those times because serious people in Westminster were otherwise engaged. No, it was just that a supportive booker did those shifts.
A new booker at Sky had just read my Inside the Danger Zones, and asked if I would talk about the differences between the Soviet and NATO wars in Afghanistan. I had covered both – one of the few advantages of being a ‘veteran war correspondent’, as Sky billed me. I had a day or two’s notice. Although I was supposed to be in Brighton, I had time to change my arrangements for a Saturday lunchtime TV tryst.
I was supposed to be up against Colonel Stuart Tootal, a Para officer I much admired. British officers will risk their lives, but rarely their careers. Tootal was a noble exception, not only as a tough fighting leader in Helmand, but for the fact he had also resigned from a glittering career because of his anger at the treatment of his wounded. He believed in staying the course in Afghanistan. I didn’t – we should get out as soon as possible.
I was worried about doing a long round – 7-8 minutes was the set time – with someone who knew much more about the immediate combat than I did. My only advantage was age: I had done a stint in the Soviet period in the 1980s.
As it happened, Twickenham rugby traffic prevented his arrival, though my cab managed to get there on time. So I was on my own: slightly less air time, but an easier ride. Luckily, the blonde bombshell presenter liked the Welsh – the interview came up as the TV screens played the run up to Wales’s rugby triumph – because she had studied in Pontypridd and I am a long-term associate of the Cardiff School of Journalism. Afterwards she said she wanted to talk to me for hours. An encouraging sign, especially as I was feeling uneasy about an interview I had just done on Sudan for Al Jazeera.
During the interview I raised the temperature by saying that the Russians had done better than NATO in the ten years they had both occupied Afghanistan. ‘At least the Russian-backed government lasted three years after the Soviets left, while Karzai’s crew will be lucky to manage three months.’
I also said that Cameron and Obama’s declaration in Washington that there would be ‘no rush to the exits’ meant precisely that there would be a stampede for the doors. Afghanistan was at a tipping point; NATO should declare victory and get out.
Both the USSR and NATO failed to understand they were intervening in a civil war or, rather, a series of civil wars. Neither side had clear war aims, hence their strategic defeats.
Being a former inmate of Sandhurst and the military staff college, I still passionately believe that we have – man for man, woman for woman – the best army in the world. But staying will mean more lives lost. Reinforcing failure and defeat will not honour our war dead.
Afghanistan became mission impossible because of mission creep – no, mission gallop. Opium production had rocketed (the Brits were tasked with eradicating the trade), Pakistan has been almost totally destabilised and the Taliban were made to look very popular compared with the corrupt government of the Mayor of Kabul, President Karzai.
We need to get out of Afghanistan very soon, with some dignity intact, not repeat Saigon in 1975 or the airbrushed political and military humiliation which was the British army’s scuttle from Basra.
The British army cannot be social workers with guns. We did not invade the country to empower women. Their treatment under the extremities of Sharia law is a tragedy, but it is not something we can prevent. Afghanistan has different mores. And the main reason for staying – training up the security forces – is almost pointless, for a whole range of reasons.
Some Afghan army guys can fight well, but they have no discipline, even when they are not out of their skulls on hash. The police are ultra-corrupt and often manned by heroin addicts. Some of the able officers – and few come from the south – will support the northern warlords when NATO goes. Karzai’s army will melt away.
If the US is forced into a war soon with Iran, it would be a good idea to quit Afghanistan first. Otherwise Iran will wreak far more havoc on our troops in Afghanistan – with lots more state-of-the-art devices for IEDs and Manpads (shouldered-launched anti-aircraft missiles).
The Russians went in very reluctantly; the army chiefs were very hostile. They soon knew there was no military solution. NATO has been one of history’s slow learners. Cameron wants out – get on with it, man.
I may no longer be asked to lecture to NATO audiences, but Sky may have me back. The executive producer praised his new booker for my interview. That’s good for the booker’s career.
By the way, for other authors reading this, I don’t tip the drivers, unless they go out of their way to help. The taxi-driver earns on average three times more than the TV talent for political punditry; at least when risking bandit country in the Surrey Hills.
One final tip: remember to remove your make-up after the show. I live next door to a pub which can be redneck at times. I walked in one Friday evening still wearing my TV make-up. A mistake. Give me Kabul any day.