The Boris Johnson vs. Ken Livingstone lift row: a very Biteback/Robson Press take...
So I'm just going to go ahead and make an assumption here. You've definitely been keeping up with this Boris Johnson/Ken Livingstone lift row, right? No? OK. Let me recap. This morning, Ken and Boris took part in a debate with other mayoral candidates on LBC. With the mayoral election coming up there are Hard Times ahead, and all candidates have got to prove that they're Standing For Something, rather than just point-scoring. They had to do more than just exchange Dishonourable Insults.
So the debate finished and Boris and Ken ended up in a lift together, along with Green candidate, Jenny Jones, Lib Dem, Brian Paddick, and LBC 97.3 Managing Editor James Rea. With what happened next it must have been Hell Above Earth in that lift. I bet they wish they had a Bodyguard to control the situation.
As ITV's Simon Harris tweeted, Boris was supposedly red with rage (I imagine he must have looked like he was having Labour Pains).
No one seems to know EXACTLY what was said. Perhaps Ken said to Boris: 'You're not the Future of Conservatism. You Don't Know Sh*t and you'll never be Prime Minister Boris, let alone win another mayoral election'.
Maybe Boris replied: 'Talking to you is like Talking To A Brick Wall. I don't Trust you, and neither do the public. But this was just one fight. When we have The Last Gunfight on May 3rd, I will emerge victorious.'
'I will never Surrender to someone who can't even keep Heathrow from cancelling flights in the SNOW!', shouted Ken.
'But you WILL LOSE. And then you shall be Out of Sight, Out of Mind!' roared Boris.
We're Inside The Danger Zones', piped up Jenny.
'These two are the Masters of Nothing', said Brian.
'Which Way's Up?', enquired James. 'I'm going to floor 8'.
It must now be declared that A State of War Exists between Boris and Ken. Oh, boys. Whatever Next? In another situation I would advise peace, love and happiness. Instead, I'm just going to advise against the Hate, in favour of Peace, Reform and Liberation. And also that you buy the aforementioned books.